Demons

And He asked him, “What is thy name?” And he answered, saying, “My name is Legion; for we are many.” Mark 5:9, KJV

I’ve always found this passage of the bible extremely interesting. Jesus is speaking to demons from hell that has occupied the body of a man from Gadarenes. The fact that Jesus both recognized and addressed the demons is inspiring.

In my life I too have a legion of demons. These are mistakes I’ve made in the course of my life and the effects of those mistakes. The errors in judgment become demonic when they consume my thoughts of future endeavors. For instance, after divorcing my first wife I allowed the idea that I was not worthy of love to haunt me and engage in reckless behavior. I treated women horribly because I was convinced that I was a horrible person. I felt that I deserved the pain that would be birthed of the pain I inflicted. The funny thing about demons is that they are virtually harmless. It is the whispers and suggestions they make that are harmful, more accurately; it is our acceptance of those suggestions that can be catastrophic.

My demons have names and are a part of the supporting cast of the play that is my life. Regret, Pity, Apathy, Self-Loathing, and Envy are all unique characters that make script changes if I allow them to. Just the other day, Envy had taken center-stage and convinced me to covet the life of men that I assumed had more than me. Luckily, God has given me a leading life that reminds me constantly of how much I’ve been blessed. She entreats me to take inventory of my life and realize that God is not through with me. She also reminds me that I have children that are watching to see if I live life to the fullest or succumb to it.
I want to believe that my demons can be used for a better purpose. If I can use Regret to help me to consider other people’s feelings before making a decision, then maybe I’ll experience him less. If Apathy reminds me that caring for something other than myself breeds empathy then he has served his purpose. When I realize that Self-Loathing is a decision that can easily be changed to self-worth, then this demon is a little less terrifying.

Jesus recognized that the man from Gadarenes was not evil but was possessed by evil. He was able to see good though it was masked by iniquity. I don’t think that this a trait Jesus alone possessed. I believe that we were all blessed with this unique ability to look beyond what our eyes see. Sometimes the sheep is forced to don the wolf’s clothing hoping that someone can see through the façade and rescue him. As a sheep who constantly finds himself in costume, I thank God that He has made me more powerful than my demons and that He saw fit to bless me with people in my life with perfect sight.