Loving the Proverbs 31 Wife

Proverbs 31:10-31 or Eishes Chayil outlines the ideal or Virtuous wife. It describes what a woman should strive for, perfection is never assumed. Regardless of your belief system, you have to respect an industrious and faithful woman or even one who aspires to be. Loving a woman that is living by a certain code of ethics whose goal is to please both God and her husband is certainly attractive and ideal.

So what happens when a man stumbles upon a woman who is in relentless pursuit of these virtues? How am I to handle the pressure of a woman who puts God and her family before herself? That is pressure.

It’s funny; it is almost easier to love a woman who has no ambition to be pleasing in God's or my sight. It’s easier because it provides plenty of excuses for the ambitious man with shortcomings. It had to be a simple undertaking for Adam to blame Eve for his disobedience. As a matter of fact, Adam blamed both God and Eve!

“Then the man said, 'The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I ate.'” Genesis (3:12)

The virtuous woman gives the man no opportunity for excuses. She is not easily tempted because her focus is on what is important in her life. This puts the responsibility on the man to do the same thing.

I took the liberty to break down the Proverbs 31 wife and how my own wife ascribes to these principles. I also show how I have come short of deserving such a blessing.


A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.


But what of him? Does he bring her the same? Loving this woman of virtue who supplies physical and emotional needs is indeed a difficult task. It is as if a woman who is constantly taking provides a better backdrop for excuses for failures. Having full confidence in my wife and lacking nothing that has value gives me the freedom to pursue my dreams without fear. I have no one but myself to blame for my shortcomings. How tragic.

She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands.
She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar.
She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls.

Who said that a woman’s place is in her home? Has she left the home to better it? Has she ventured into the world to bring comfort and beauty to a home that you both enjoy? It is quite possible that God equipped women for this purpose. It has always amazed me how my wife, a Marine, can work for ten to twelve hours and still find time to come home and make me feel like she’s been waiting for me. I stand in awe on a Saturday morning when she wakes before I do, makes coffee, and then makes the entire house seem as if it has been dipped in pine oil and lemons. The very least I can do is pick up my clothes off the floor and do a load of laundry or two.

She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.

She makes smart decisions that bear fruit and doesn’t need a co-signature. My input is welcomed but not necessary. This type of strength and consideration multiplies my hands and allows me to be in more than one place a time. While I’m about my Father’s business, so is she!

She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.
She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night.
In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.

All day she works but yet still finds time to volunteer. I stayed home with the kids while she gave her time and talents to a shelter for abused woman last weekend. She knows her worth and helps other women to find theirs. She is a blessing, a blessing that I sometimes treat like a curse.

When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple.

All of our needs are met. She makes sure of it. The children never leave the house in anything that gives the perception that they are not well taken of. She ensures that are basic needs and our elaborate wants are considered. Whenever we are together she is dressed so that I am the envy of all men while still portraying the mother of my children.

Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.

It is through her diligence that I take my place at the head of my table and earn the respect of my peers. Behind every good man is not the actual woman but her virtue. She stand besides me but pushes me to achieve all that God has in store for me.

She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes.
She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.
She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.

A constant go getter, she is a joy to be around and to be near. I have to force her to take a break, to relax. She believes that her job is stay busy and keep the home intact. She forces me off the couch with her relentless pursuit of perfection. How can I not lend a helping hand?

Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:
"Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all."
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

I constantly remind my beautiful wife that she is worthy of my praise. She belongs on the pedestal I placed her on, but not to be left there alone. I slip. I forget at times that this was my blessing, she was my gift, and proof that God favors me.